贖罪

By 陳柏宇

我已經一早 卑躬 屈膝 我知 我做錯
我也許不知羞恥 恨就恨舊日 太懦弱
世界再沒有戰爭
連眼也沒有淚
歸零 淪為陌生過路
贖罪也好 請憎恨我
又再抽的香煙 抽不出哭泣 更寂寞
上帝已死 沉淪如初
為何原諒我 又不膽敢 愛我
這樣叫絕望 絕望 絕望到 想你有別個
你最赤祼的身體 實實在在地 給撫摸
不要被我殺死
還要過下半生
好好的過 如情大不過恨
贖罪好嗎 請虐待我
又再抽的香煙 抽不出哭泣 更寂寞
上帝已死 沉淪如初
為何原諒我 又逃避我
認清楚痛苦 原來內疚更苦 比失去痛苦
我已摧毀 一種信仰
你不再願望 不再動人和天真
呆滯腳步 傳來裂碎的聲音
懲罰我 懲罰我 我要贖罪現在墮落到死
後悔當初 沒結果
可以走的東西 都走得差不多
時日無多
原來原諒我 是種禮貌 我知
我都不敢愛我
About This Song

The song "" ("Atonement") by Taiwanese artist (Chen Baiyu) presents a haunting exploration of guilt, self-loathing, and the quest for redemption. At its emotional core, the song delves deeply into the protagonist's feelings of remorse for past mistakes and lost love. The repeated reflections on the futility of forgiveness and the sheer weight of emotional burden create a palpable atmosphere of despair and longing, capturing the complex relationship between personal failures and the yearning for absolution.

The narrative unfolds as the artist grapples with themes of regret, alienation, and the oppressive nature of memories. The lyrics convey a struggle against both self and external expectations, where the protagonist begs not only for forgiveness but also for the acknowledgment of their pain. This tension is underscored by the lyrics stark imagery of loneliness, depicting the protagonists attempts to mask their sorrow through smoking, indicative of a feeble escape from emotional turmoil. The relationship dynamics are intricate, as Chen Baiyu invites his listener to witness the deep scars left by love and the painful awareness that one can be conscious of their failures while still feeling lost.

Musically, the song employs a melancholic melody underscored by poignant instrumentation that complements the introspective lyrics. The use of minor chords enhances the sense of sorrow while allowing moments of intensity that reflect the protagonist's turmoil. Lyrically, Chen Baiyu employs repetition and evocative language, crafting a rhythm that feels both confessional and urgent. This technique draws listeners into an intimate space where feelings of despair are articulated with raw honesty, making the experience deeply relatable.

Culturally, "" speaks to broader themes of emotional expression in modern Chinese music, where the juxtaposition of love and suffering is prevalent. The song resonates with those who have experienced disillusionment in relationships or a crisis of identity, serving as a reminder of the universal struggle with guilt and the yearning for healing. As such, it embodies a particular cultural narrative that invites listeners to confront their vulnerabilities, embracing a shared journey toward understanding and, perhaps, forgiveness.